CRAZY PENDRIVE???

Selamat hari raya Aidiladha

Assalamualaikum!...today i jst wanna say selamt menyambut hari raya aidiladah..alhumdulillah...sekali setahun tani menyambut dgn penuh kesyukuran...dgn ini..me n my family jst wanna say '' SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA''..

THE NEW HAIR!(OVERDUE)

hello ppl~...so masa hari isnin lapas!....seperti biasa...bgun pagi..heheh..i dont knw dat my cuz ''qilah'' coming at my house..coz skulah ugama...mcm pengsuaian lah...mcm atu ..so her mom drop off to our house so krg mamanya ambil lah krg atu t.hari aaaa...but mom said..jln eh..krg hantar lah..so kami pun jln n dont knw kan ke mana...so mama me kan cuba ke kg tungku coz ada mcm buah2an stuff like dat..lah..cant remember lah there name..sana pun ada gerai..so makan breakfast dsna,,,coz lapar...n my mom sunddenly kan berurut arah kadai kawansa rimba.....it unisex saloon..can remeber the name aslo..n boring punya boring...i saw the mirro..n there u goooo...cut my hair!...huhuhuh..i knw..i can belive it..aku ani kan panjngkan rmabut...x apa nah?? gatal bah kan gunting rambut..ok2 after this..panjangkan rambut!..2 thn inda gunting rambut eh,hehhehhe.

before


after

hello people!..ok this past a few months,...i keep changing my hp!.seriously...i need to stop it!..hahahhahaha..i cant help!..my parents keep spoil me...huhuhuh..no lah..mana ada!..sumpah..hahah..ok...i now u guys there that i got hp E63...i jst got it in oct 2009..really!..now i pass it to my mom..while i got new hp that my parents bought it from singapore..LG KP500 COOKIES PINK EDITION!...actully dulu my dream hp is LG KS360!...but since i saw E63 ..i fall in love wit it..then my mom bali Yg LG KS360 for me..so ia ambil yg E63...but inda tah ku terpakai...hahahhahaha...inda berliur kan pakai coz...E63 ani biasai bah...ada wirelss lagi kan..inda buang cr8..so...inda tah jdi aku pakai yg LG KS 360..i jst let my mom pakai ja..inda kan bpa ku pakai x??? pink colour x aaaa..hahhahahah...then suddenly..parents me ke singapore ..so i tak ikut coz..mcm kacau daun jua 2! kan kan kan?? so..biarkan tia my parents ke sana...so..parents me balikan tia hp baru ani...LG KP500....hahaha..n itz cost like $200!!!!!!!...buat actually nya..$220...but mau jua kurang jdi $200..so bali lah..wit protctionnya..cukai nya..adalh dlm $200 labih..heheh..dsini aku liat...lain hantap harganya...hahahahaha..bah ...i let u see the picture i jst taken from google..mlz tah kan gambr kai hp ani..huhh...mata lagi luan romantik..mengantuk eh..ok..ppl..I LOVE YAAAAAAAAA...






THE E63 ( my first baby)
THE LG KS360( MY 2 BABY)

THE LG KP500(THE LAST BABY)

The Diamond Ring‏

WALAO...like that also can ah!!!!!

I got this frend Ahpek , he just got to know one China Piao mei whois in Malaysia on 'vacation '
so after a few days going out with this Piao mei then one day Ahpek asked the Piao mei,

Ahpek : Piao mei ar ... we go out so many days ledi wor .... when you wanna lemme wat wat u jek?".

Piao mei : Ahpek ar .... you so fast wanna wat wat me meh? I only know you for a few days only worrr ">

Ahpek : a few days still not long enuff to show my sincerity meh? I really lafu you wan worr''.

Piao mei : Still not enuff ler .... there is something you havent done yet ler ....''.

Ahpek : What is that jek? faster tell me ... i fast fast go do!''.

Piao mei : All my frends mia bf all got buy them jewelry wan wor ... but you ... ''.

Ahpek : Say no more! I bring you go buy now!''.

Ahpek then bring Piao mei go Kedai Emas Poh Kong .... you should see the glow on Piao mei's face when she enters Poh Kong dat time.

As Ahpek enters the shop, he loud loud tok to the small counter clerk

Ahpek: '' Eh ... ask your Manager come! I want buy diamond ring for my gf!''.

Later the Manager come with 2 packs of Drinho Packet drink ....

Manager : ''Boss, sit down and have a drink first ... we slow slow tok ok?''.

Ahpek :'' Eh lu Manager har? then bring me a very spesel diamong ring! i wanna buy for
my pretty gf here!''.

Manager : Wuah! you really ' sik foh ' (know your stuffs) ... know how to come to our place asking for diamond ring! our diamond ring very fehmes wan! Nah boss .... this one 3 carats, very shinny diamond .... after discount i gibe lu RM5,000 ok anot?''

Ahpek : I think you no skool much wan la! which part of ' Very Spesel' you dont understand? 3 carat?!!! My maid's diamond ring also more than 3 carats la!!!''.

Manager : Wuahh!!!! very little peeple so expert like you wan ler boss! I like you very much! Nah what about this? this wan 5 carats .... after discount RM13,000 only.''

Ahpek : What discount discount? I dunwan those got discount discount wan! bring me something without discount! ''.

Manager : Wuahh!!! ok ok I understand ledi boss! You really come to the right place liow! I recomen you this 10 carats diamond ring! This ring last time owned by itu HK Singer Kenny B mia ex wife wan ... this one made from the precious blue diamond from Egypt, only our shop got this! This one knot gibe discount ... the price is RM90,000''.

Ahpek : Hmmm ... lidis lar i like! come come lemme take a look''.

*Ahpek then pass it to the Piao mei and ask her :*

Ahpek : How baobei? you like this one anot? last time Kenny B's ex wife also wear before wan leh ...''.

Piao mei : I like Ahpek! I like! ''.

*Ahpek then pass back the ring to the Manager *

Ahpek : ok la ... I take this one ... just now you said RM90,000 izzit ?''.

Manager : Yes boss, RM90,000 .... no discount''.

Ahpek : Ok lar .. my gf here love the ring very much .... i take it la!''.

Manager : Tenkiu boss!!! How would you like to pay? with Cash or card boss? ''.

Ahpek : Cash? lu siao har? who walk on the street with 90k in their poket wan? ''.

Manager : soli soli ... then you pay card izzit?''.

Ahpek : Pay card??!!! you know how high is the interest anot??!! diu!''.

Manager : Then?''.

Ahpek : Lidis lar .. I give you cek ok? you no need to gimme the ring 1st .... today is saturday mah bank alredi closed so u wait till monday only go bank take money la! the cek cleared ledi only i come and take the ring ok anot? ''.

Manager : Ohhh ... lidat ok la! ok set boss, later monday your cek cleared ledi I will call you to come and take the ring ok?''.

Ahpek : dont call so early hor! I dont wakeup till 12pm wan. ''.

Manager : Yes sir! I know sir.''.

*Then Ahpek issued the cek and hand it over to the Manager then Ahpek and Piao mei left the shop ...... 2 days later (Monday) the Manager called Ahpek on his handphone : *

Manager : Oi Cilaka lu! your account left RM18.02 only la! Diu! you where got money to buy a RM90,000 ring??!!!''.

Ahpek : I know my account no money wor ... I pretend to wanna buy my gf the ring only mah ... Knot ah?''.

Manager : Wuah you farker! If your gf know you are dem pokai I sure she will dump 9 u straight away!''.

Ahpek : AAhhh .... dat one I know ledi laa .. tell you something you derno lar .... you know how nice she serbis-ED me on Saturday and Sunday anot?''.



WUAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!

-THE END-

DOA PEMANIS MUKA????!!!

DOA INI MUJARAB,
SEBAIK BAIKNYA DIBACA SETIAP PAGI JUMA ' AT: SEBELUM KELUAR RUMAH.

Tak payah nak berabis duit buat facial ataupun botox…… etc…..
Tengok aje orang orang dulu atau seniwati –seniwati lama kita yang sentiasa kelihatan manis…… khabarnya dia orang memang pakai doa yang sama…………..Cuma kena rajin menghafal dan baca setiap kali pakai bedak atau keluar rumah……………….. Doa pemanis muka ni lebih afdal lagi kalau dibaca 3 kali sehari sebelum memakai bedak atau a lat 2 solek atau minyak rambut .
Hafal dan tarik nafas dalam dalam dan hembus ……. Lepas itu. Baca kuat-kuat ........ Bagi semua orang dengar..................... Selamat mencuba...... amalkan lah.. Tak rugi ....!! !!! !!!!!!!
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" minyak si tuang tuang, ku tuang dalam kuali, muka ku macam beruang, semua orang gerenti lari. kuang.. kuang..kuang. ."
He…. He….. he……...semoga bertambah manis... Hahahahahaha. .. ampun tuan ku............beribu ribu ampun……………... Hamba pon terkene...... bebe!

Pencuri(lawak's)

Pada satu hari, Samad sedang berehat d bawah pokok rambutan..Tiba-tiba seorang jiran datang kepadanya dan Bermulalah dialong di bawah:

Jiran: Samad, ada org curi Motor Yamaha 132 LC kau..aku cuba kejar tapi tak dapat >>>> ( mcm complete kan aku bagitu ani.. pasal jenis motor nya aaa...haha)

Samad: Alhamdulillah (sambil bersujud tiba2)

Jiran: why kau bersyukur pulak?, ur brain rosak?

Samad: kau lah yg rosak otak...cuba think ..kalau aku tengah naik motor 2..tak ke aku hilang
d curi orang...

mendengar Jawapaan samad..Jirannya terus slam dunk samad!...hahahah

listen this song...

hello pepole:

who is she?? heheh...she called by the name Orianthi...im addicted to her song call ''according to you'' plus she playing the guiter...she rock's! n also ia pernah berkerja sama wit the late MJ..wow!...she very talented!..

i have her lyric title According to u

According to you

I'm stupid,

I'm useless,

I can't do anything right.

According to you

I'm difficult,

hard to please,

forever changing my mind.

I'm a mess in a dress,

can't show up on time,

even if it would save my life.

According to you. According to you.

But according to him

I'm beautiful,

incredible,

he can't get me out of his head.

According to him

I'm funny,

irresistible,

everything he ever wanted.

Everything is opposite,

I don't feel like stopping it,

so baby tell me what I got to lose.

He's into me for everything I'm not,

according to you.

According to you

I'm boring,

I'm moody,

you can't take me any place.

According to you

I suck at telling jokes

cause I always give it away.

I'm the girl with the worst attention span;

you're the boy

who puts up with that.

According to you.According to you.

But according to him

I'm beautiful,

incredible,

he can't get me out of his head.

According to him

I'm funny,

irresistible,

everything he ever wanted.

Everything is opposite,

I don't feel like stopping it,

so baby tell me what I got to lose.

He's into me for everything I'm not,

according to you.

I need to feel appreciated,

like I'm not hated.

oh-- no--.

Why can't you see me through his eyes?

It's too bad you're making me decide.

According to me

you're stupid,

you're useless,

you can't do anything right.

But according to him

I'm beautiful,

incredible,

he can't get me out of his head.

According to him

I'm funny,

irresistible,

everything he ever wanted.

Everything is opposite,

I don't feel like stopping it,

baby tell me what I got to lose.

He's into me for everything I'm not,

According to you. According to you.

According to you I'm stupid,

I'm useless,

I can't do anything right.

MY PARENTS TRIP

hello people:

yesterday my parents went to singapore witout me! seriously...witout me..huhuh...kan ikut..mcm malas...mcm kacau daun jua 2..but..nvm..lain x ja..plus...kana balikn HP baru..hahahahaha....BUT....LG KOOKIE KP500...i dont know apa colournya ...itz might be suprise..hheheh..for my NOKIA E63??..hmmm..mcm sebulan kan aku pakai..hehehe...my mom ada bali LG KP 360 actually...baru berapa weeks ja ia pakai...pink colour...now she gona give it to someone...eheheheh...hmmm..later lah kan gitu f she gona give it,.,,kan bagi bapa me?? elowwwww....its pink colour lah..plus my dad like 50's years old...3 item dapt kana balikn leh my parents..heheheh..tdi my mom msg..what size i am?? ia kan balikan me skinn jeans x...maybe lah...uhhuh..yepi..besuk my parents balik ke singapore..lik kul 6 ptg lah...or kul 7 mlm coz...flight dirog kul 6.02 mlm..i miss singapore actually..miss the shopping..i love shopping there,,,,itz been 3 years inda ke sana...muarah bah brgnya f sale dsana walapun mata wang tani sama ,,,,but...itz cheap lah...kira puas hati lah..ok lah i have to go...kan check my fb lah..love yea!

SEMUA MAKAN

Ali merupakan seorang penutut d sebuah IPT dan kumpulannya telah d tugaskan untuk mengkaji corak kehidupan masyarakat asli d semenanjung. Tanpa membuang masa Ali dan kumplannya menuju ke pendalaman negeri Perak untuk menyelesaikan tugasnya.Berikut temua bual Ali bersama Ketua orang Asli:

Ali: Tok, apakah makana Utama masyarakat dsini?

Tok Batin : Kami d sini makan semua..rusa,kancil,lembu,ayam.itik,..kira semualah..yg paling
bagus kepalanya..

Ali:kalau kepala gajah pun makan ke?

Tok Batin: Makan..

Ali: kepala keretapi..?

Tok Batin: Makan...

Ali: kepala lori..?

Tok Batin: makan...

Ali: kepala bas?

Tok Batin: Makan..

Ali: kepala kapal terbang..?

Tok Batin: Eh,,itu mana boleh makan..itu kan besi...

Ali:??????????????????